So, yeah, there’s a lot of shit things about being a woman.

And I’m saying that as a straight, white, middle-class woman living in modern Australia, mind you. So as far as women go, I have it pretty easy.

There’s the whole “am I gonna get raped by someone at this party?” thing. There’s that whole “you’re mother’s sick, it’s your job to cook, clean and keep the family from falling apart ” thing. There’s the whole “science actually doesn’t know that much about female bodies, so just deal with what you’ve been dealt with” thing. There are many, many things that are shit about being a woman. And this is just some of the shit I – a woman who has it pretty easy – have encountered. There’s female genital mutilation. Sexual slavery. Being unable to leave the house without a male guardian. Horrific stuff. I could go on forever.

But it’s International Women’s Day and there’s much to be celebrated.

So to remind myself that there’s more than the horror and the bullshit and the, “yeah, mate, it’s on November 19, you have plenty of time to organise an event”, I’m going to think about some of the good things about being a woman. Because it’s not all shit. It can be fan-effing-tastic.

So here’s my list of the things I like about being a woman right now:

The prerogative to have a little fun, fun, fun: I’m talking about everyone’s girl Shania bloody Twain and her absolute banger Man, I Feel Like a Woman. Obviously this deserves to be on the list.

Wearing sandals to work: For some, the unwritten laws that govern the office realms forbids men from wearing anything beyond a jaunty pair of loafers. Women can get away with tethering tiny boards to their feet with a few straps of leather. It makes for a much cooler day in the office. And on that note…

Skirts: Especially the twirly ones. It’s great not having to restrict yourself to the constraints of trousers or jeans.

Bitch diesel: I have a friend who likes to call rosé bitch diesel. And it feels like a uniquely female thing to tap into: drink a bunch of rosé and carry on like an absolute pork chop.

Spontaneous outbursts of sisterhood: I mean, a prime example of this is the whole drunk girl in the bathroom phenomenon, where two drunk strangers become instant best friends over a spare hairtie, but you don’t have to be all sloshy to partake. It’s the passing “oi, that’s a great skirt” from a lady walking by or group of rando girls bunching together to form a shimmying scrum to block off creepy dudes on the dance floor. There are a lot of times when women are just instinctively nice to each other, which is lovely as fuck.

Being able to pretend your cycle makes you a mythical being: Ok, so because a menstrual cycle is rooooughly the same length a calendar month and a month is about the time it takes for the moon to go from full to half to none, the link been the moon and a bleeding uterus is often drawn. And you can opt the heck out of all that if you want. Most of the time I do, because I’ve got bills to pay and emails to send and half-strength coffees to consume from reusable cups. But sometimes, it’s fun to pretend you’re more than just a fertile human being, but some kind of lunar child, with a strong and unbreakable bond with that massive milky-white rock twirling around our planet. The whole history of females being witches is horrific, and I don’t want to downplay the truly effed up things society did to women because they thought they were colluding with the devil, but that belief that women hold mysterious and, at times, dark powers can be fun to play up to. Like, maybe you are a divine spirit who can brew new life in your guts, you know? And on that note…

Stevie Nicks: I mean, men can enjoy Dreams just as much as anyone else, but there’s something about having long hair and wearing tiny shorts when you dance around to this song that taps into some ancient feminie mystic. Even if you’re never going to go out and buy a fucking crystal, it still stirs something sensually primal inside you, igniting some kind of womanly fire in your soul.

Sex and the City: I mean, sure, it’s got its problems, but fuck me, have it’s fun to watch with some cheap wine in hand. Crack open your box set, whack in a DVD and sip from your big fancy glass. You very quickly get all sassy and start feeling all fabulous and you can’t help but wonder if women really can have it all.

Nora Ephron: She taps into this 90s New York feminine vibe that I can really, really get around. She’s honest and raw, but in a way that’s fancy and entirely aspirational. Again, this is all coming from the lens of a straight white girl, but good heavens, it’s a delightful world she makes you believe in. You know, like autumn leaves and books and tea and bug sloppy jumpers and romance and Meg the heck Ryan. Read her books, watch her movies and, shit, do read some of Carrie Fisher’s books too. You’ll know what I mean. 

Friends: Sure, men have friends, but when women really connect, it transcends the definition of friendship to something the English language cannot fully articulate. You talk about your feelings, both the emotional and the graphically biological kind and it really binds you in a, in my experience, really uplifting kind of way. To quote the great Kris Jenner, “I love my friends”.

Talking about pap smears: I mean, getting pried open and scraped internally isn’t a fun experience, but shooting the breeze about it with other people who have also been through it is a bit of a laugh. I don’t know, maybe it’s just having something to bond about, but it’s fun going into the intricate details with your friends. “My cervix was tucked away to the left the last time!” “I always need the long speculum, even though I’m pretty short!” “I was super hungover and was pretty sure I stunk of old beers”. Such fun. See also: talking about your cycle; talking about going off the pill; talking about dating apps etc.

Not living in the fear that you have a secret child you didn’t know about: I mean, it’s hard to say how anxious I’d be if I were born a man, but if I had the same levels of near constant frettery, I would be shit scared that somewhere out there was a child with half my DNA. Like, with the exception of some horrific abuse situations, you’re going to be aware of any child you’ve parented. You’re not going to be surprised by a kid knocking on your door telling you that you made ‘em.

The connotations surrounding female masturbation: There’s all these sensual, self-care kind of associations when it comes to women masturbating. By comparison, male masturbation is very rough – you think of ejaculating into a crusty sock or a dick being jammed into a pie. It’s all so perfunctory, with an impatient focus on getting to the end, already. But for women, it’s more more tender. Female masturbation is all about exploration and connection and empowerment. I mean, this way of thinking is quite new in terms of modern history and I know we have a lot of women to thank for getting us to this point, but I think that’s just lovely.

* A friend of mine used this phrase the other day, and it was too good not to turn into a shitty illustration. 

While you’re here, if you feel like doing something for the sisterhood, now’s the day to do it. Be kind to your fellow woman. Lift up those underneath you. And, if you can, chip in a few dollars to some causes that do great things for women.

Here’s two causes I’ve dug up:

Women’s Legal Service Queensland: This service offers women free assistance in areas like family law, domestic violence and some areas of sexual assault. You can donate to them here.

Days for Girls: This is an initiative that makes reusable, washable period products for girls in developing countries so they don’t miss out on days in schools. I did a story with some people in Rotary who were doing some work with the initiative when I was working in Armidale and I thought it was a brilliant cause. You can donate to them here.