Originally published by The Clifton Courier, November 27, 2019

I’m staring down the barrel of my 10-year high school reunion.

Reunions, as I’ve learned from a lifetime of watching Romy and Michelle’s high School Reunion, offer the chance for redemption, bragging and showing off your interpretive dance moves.

They also make you reflect on what you’ve become, whether you’re happy with who you are and how you’ve spent the past decade of your life.

And while I’m thrilled I’ve finally learned that side fringes and greasy foreheads don’t make for a smart mix, I was keen to assess what else I have achieved since leaving school.

There are, of course, many measures of success, but not many of them are very good.

The most obvious one is about finance and career. Having a business card and using phrases like “investment portfolio” does sound pretty cool. But one person’s measure of career success are starkly different to the next person’s. To some people, my career might seem pretty alright, while others might think it’s not all that crash hot.

Then there’s relationships. I mean, sure, some people might thing that I’m not married with children is a little sad, but others might view me as a free spirit with a heart like a wild brumby that cannot be tamed.

And I don’t want to judge myself based on possessions. This isn’t because I’m a non-materialistic person. I am a material girl. I love stuff and I’m very sentimental about objects, to the point that my sister is a little concerned. It’s because, again, people’s measures of impressiveness vary. I know a few people who think my collection of novelty swan figurines is cool, while others find it unspeakably dumb.

Not to sound preachy, but if you try to grade yourself on other people’s measures of success, you’re always going to miss the mark somewhere along the line. So you’re better off figuring out your own criteria and judging yourself against that.

At this point in time, my metric of success is having interesting stories to tell, stories that would make me sound like a wild bit of gear when I tell them to my grandchildren (should I ever produce fertile offspring, that is). I mean, you could argue that this is fuelled by my desire to appear cool, and you would not be wrong there.

So I’ve collated a list of the coolest things I did each year since I graduated, which took a bit of digging through old photos to jog my memory. Social media had just became a thing as I was making my way into adulthood, so I didn’t have to rummage through shoe boxes of photos – this saved me a bit of time, but I feel this would have been more dramatic than scrolling through images with my laptop sitting on my stomach.

2010: Made a paper mache Golden Snitch helmet and paired it with a yellow tracksuit to wear to a Harry Potter movie premier.

2011: Was the first girl to do a keg stand a party where girls were only invited to look pretty (I was my friend Megan’s plus one, in case you were wondering how I got in there).

2012: Was one of two people who started the first ever d-floor at a UQ Wine and Cheese Club event. I’d arrived a little late and, just as I entered the room, the delightful Michael Bublé song Everything started, which was mine a friend’s favourite song at the time. She was on the other side of the room and just happened to have locked eyes with me as the Bubes started singing. We danced towards each other into the centre of the room and our graceful moves prompted others to join in. She was later told that this was the first time in recent memory that a dance floor erupted at an official club function, so we essentially made history.

2013: Was chucked on the shoulders of some enthusiastic guy during Dammit at the Blink 182 concert I went to with all three of my sisters.

2014: According to my Instagram account, cooked hot cross scones.

2015: I was dubbed, and I quote, Queen of the Dino Snacks by Steggles’ social media team for arranging dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets into an edible diorama with broccoli trees and a sweet potato volcano spewing out gravy lava. I was never officially coronated or given a crown, but I did receive 18 kilos of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

2016: Made the guy who sings Eagle Rock sign my shoe and drink some of my rosé.

2017: I vomited nine metres underwater. Twice. And didn’t die.

2018: Swam in the Irish ocean in April. That was cool, but mostly in the temperature sense.

2019: That remains to be seen.