This weekend’s self interview is sourced from Toowoomba Style, a publication I happened upon while visiting the garden city for my high school reunion.

I found myself with a spot of down time before the big event on Saturday afternoon and decided to get a head start on my Sunday post. Indulging in my delusions of relevance seemed like a good way to pass the time, plus it meant I could sit under the air conditioner.

Tell us a little about yourself: I prefer Clix to Jatz. I am vitamin B12 deficient. I am inheriting a large photograph of galloping horses from my grandmother’s house when she moves into an aged care home. I’m two episodes into The Crown.

When did you start painting? I have a really strong memory of using a paintbrush attached to a small bucket of water as a youngster, I think in a playgroup I went to before preschool. It was supposed to make us think we were painting but it was just water in the bucket, so whatever we “painted” would dry up and disappear after about 30 seconds or so. It was a good introduction to the futility of trying at anything, in hindsight.

Describe your style: A cry for attention.

Influences and evolution of your art? Well, I find it very difficult to draw faces, so I avoid the whole thing and draw objects in the place of heads and hope it comes off as smart and surreal. I prefer to use a black biro for drawing my illustrations, which evolved from my using that brio for general writing purposes. I also use watercolour pencils because I have ended up with quite a few of them over the years and thought I should probably use them before they become a fire hazard. So I suppose my ineptitude and the proximity of art supplies are the major influences on my work.

Why do you enjoy painting? Because I like wearing berets and holding pallets.

Some highlights of your artistic life? Handling clay feels pretty good.

What do you like about Toowoomba? The chicken cooked the country way.

What is your dream goal? There’s a bus stop near me at the intersection of a Rose and Dawson street. The bus stop sign says “Rose Dawson”. I’d really like to get a photo of me standing near it with wet hair while wearing a long, black coat with some guy in an old timey sailor’s kit with an umbrella and a clipboard standing nearby to recreate that scene from Titanic. Ideally, I’d like to have Celine Dion on hand to hum so I could make it an Insta video, but I realise that would take a lot of coordination.