Originally published by The Clifton Courier, April 17, 2019

Style is not about fashion.

A have a pair of tiny floral shorts that I like to wear on casual outings. They’re short, yes, but not short enough to be indecent. The print isn’t the most fashionable these days, but I wouldn’t say it’s outdated enough to be deemed ghastly. And they’re a little bit on the stained side thanks to my unfortunate pushing position when attempting to free a bogged ute from a muddy campground, but they’re respectable enough.

I like them. They go great with sloppy Joes and they’re unrestrictive in the crotch. They’re everything a look for in a pair of shorts.

And yet, every time I slip them on, I hear my friend’s voice*, telling me that I should not be wearing them out in public.

* I should probably point out that, normally, this particular friend’s advice is extremely sound. In fact, I’d trust her to be my power of attorney. If this friend had the authority to make my decisions on my behalf, I’m convinced I would be in a much better place. It’s probably something I should be seriously investigating. However, if she were to be given the power to manage my affairs, the contract would have to make an explicit stipulation about this particular issue.

Why?

Because they’re pyjama shorts, she tells me.

It’s as though the fact that I purchased them from a shop that sells pyjamas restricts them to household wear only, maybe as far as the backyard boundary if I’m among people within my inner sanctum.

But I reject this claim.

Firstly, on the grounds of the definition of pyjamas.

A quick Google search defines pyjamas as “any clothing suitable for wearing in bed”.

I actually don’t sleep in these shorts. In fact, I rarely sleep in in any of the cutesy little pyjama shorts I own. I actually sleep in the free t-shirt they gave me for finishing uni. It’s not really a t-shirt on me with my comically short torso, it’s more of a shapeless dress, which makes it the perfect size for optimum sleep comfort. It’s mildly-stained and the cheap fabric is impregnated with my personal musk due to overuse, but I feel like the fact that it confirms I somehow obtained a tertiary education balances all that out.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t actually wear these pants while I’m sleeping, with the exception of spontaneous daytime naps.

So, technically, said shorts are not pyjama shorts.

Secondly, who cares if they are, in fact, clothing designed to be slept in?

As my father says, “it doesn’t matter if you’re dressed like a bag of… [organic, all-natural fertiliser], someone will still take your money”. This isn’t a jab at his dress sense – if you’re not wearing dust covers on your boots, you’re probably underdressed – but is meant to that illustrate your worth is more than what you wear.

Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with looking swish in a banging outfit. I’m not suggesting that caring about what you look like is shallow. In fact, I’m saying the opposite.

When you wear something, you should go ahead and own it, regardless of what other people might think. Unless you’ve been asked to adhere to a specific dress code*, you follow your own damn code.

* When a dress code says “don’t we jeans because we’re not animals”, do not wear jeans. I bloody mean it. 

The saying goes that the most important thing you can wear is a smile (but, if you want to avoid indecent exposure charges, I recommend also at least wearing a smock* that covers the important bits). Any combination of clothing can be a killer outfit if you team it with confidence.

* Or perhaps some strategically-placed leaves. 

My filthy sister, who everyone thinks is some shiny glamourzon because she has blonde hair and is skinny, used to rock up to school with unbrushed hair nearly every day towards the pointy end of her schooling career. We had to get up fairly early to catch the bus and I suppose she just didn’t feel like dealing with the trauma of bushing knotty hair before the sun was officially up. Instead, she would tie up her hair and add a Barbie hairclip to the nest, which she said gave the appearance that her hairdo was messy on purpose. And then off she’d go to school in her little white Kia, blasting Britney Spears and leaving a trail of sass behind her as she went.

And that’s something I think we should all aim for. Forget about the haters and craft your own sense of style, be that ironically pink hairclips or practical lawn-mowing kit. Wear what makes you feel good – while keeping within the restraints of the law, of course – and own it.