Yeah, I don’t have much for you today.

Its not because I’m out camping or commemorating the resurrection of Jesus.

Apparently, I’m just feeling a bit off today.

Look, I’m aware that does sound like a lame excuse for “I watched Escape to the Country for too long and now I’m too tired to bash out even a sub-par blog post”.

Yeah, so maybe my enthusiasm for watching retired British couples view rural properties may have had something to do with the very short length of this post. And perhaps my tired state contributed to this blog being slugged with the imaginative and extremely descriptive title of “Oi”. But this is not entirely the whole story.

Something’s just not right. I may need to see a shaman or something.

Think I’m being dramatic?

Consider these three facts:

• It was Easter Sunday and the only chocolate I ate was vegan, gluten free and was in no way novelty-shaped
• I made roast potatoes and opted not to have them with gravy – even though I had ample Gravox in the pantry
• Daylight Saving time ended without me wanting to dance naked around a bonfire in mystic jubilation like one of those women in the opening credits of Outlander

See what I mean?

I love dairy, gluten and adore novelty-shaped food items. I worship gravy. And my burning hatred for the concept of Daylight Saving time is encoded in the nucleus of every one of the cells making up the freckly slop that is my body.

For me to act like this, in such contrast to my most sacred values, is extremely out of character.

I’m now extremely concerned I could wake up tomorrow as a completely different person.  Maybe I’ll suddenly start calling togs “cozzies” or wake up inside the body of a middle-aged Rob Schneider.

Or maybe I just need to go to bed.

I guess I’ll find out in the morning.

No offence to Rob, but I’ve been focusing on sculpting my butt lately, so I’m really hoping I wake up inside my own body.