Wellity, wellity, welltiy.

Welcome the gripping sequel to the equally enthralling post I wrote earlier today, pledging to be productive.

Now, everyone’s definition of “productive” is different, but when you have set the bar as low as I do, this feels like a triumph. This is by no means a Pulitzer-worthy piece, but it’s a mark on the board. And who needs a prestigious literary award when you know your reward is going to be an unholy amount of pasta served in wheel of cheese?

What follows is a comprehensive list of what I’ve done with my day since my last post – because that’s obviously something everyone needs to know.

After I posted my earlier blog, I did the following:

• Grabbed my jogging gear off the clotheshorse
• Realised my jogging shorts weren’t completely dry
• Put jogging shorts on the fan to speed up the drying process
• Snapchatted above stroke of brilliance/affirmation that I am somewhat active because I have jogging shorts to get a hit of that sweet, sweet social media validation
• Turned my mattress
• Felt extremely accomplished
• Changed my sheets
• Visualised how great my sleep would be tonight
• Put on my newly-dried running shorts
• Copped sass on Snapchat from my friends’ parents who questioned whether I actually jog
• Jogged – mostly fuelled by a desire to be skinny, but also tiny bit of spite.
• Complained to my housemate about the humidity
• Started a shopping list
• Stared vacantly into the fridge
• Sighed longingly at the pantry
• Finished writing shopping list
• Got groceries
• Attempted to parallel park on a hill
• Attempted to parallel park on a hill
• Attempted to parallel park on a hill
• Reasoned that persistence results in skill perfection, but avoiding having to pay for repairs to a Mercedes is a more desirable outcome
• Parked further from house on flat surface
• Complained to my other housemate about the humidity
• Put groceries away
• Showered
• Changed into pyjama top and horsey boxers
• Put on a cup of barley to cook*
• Prepared a cheeky snack of hummus and bread
• Sat down on bed to watch “one quick episode”** of Pretty Little Liars “before getting back to being productive”
• Sighed deeply when epsidoe conked out after five minutes because I have patchy internet in my room
• Begrudgingly took this as a sign that I should get back to being productive
• Started writing a list of all my actions as a way of “being productive”
• Checked on barley
• Ate some strawberries
• Checked on barley again
• Turned barley into portions that could be four lunches or two – depending on how empty I feel
• Came back to laptop
• Saw that I had been hit by a wave of internet connection
• Hastily tied up my blog post
• Negliected to proof reed
• Posted said blog
• Returned to my “quick” episode of Pretty Little Liars 

* barley is my new best friend. Expect the recipe for a garlic barley surprise for the overtired and underpaid in the near future.

** even though each episode is pretty much exactly the same length…