It’s Sunday and you’re getting served up another round of “Dannielle interviews herself because she has no good ideas and narcissistic tendencies”.

The problem is that Dannielle decided that a sunny winter’s day in Sydney was a good day to go for a swim in the ocean. Now her brain is broken and she’s referring to herself in third person. Like Elmo.

So she’s kind of unable to come up with a decent idea for a blog post and resorted to ripping questions from various quizzes off the Internet, slotting in a quote from Mean Girls to beef out the post and packaging it as original content.

She says she’s sorry, but she doesn’t mean it.

When was the last time you cried?

I was watching The Intern, and Anne Hathaway told Robert Di Niro he was her best friend.

I’ve started owning my tears, guys, and I urge you too. It’s so freeing.

Cry in The Goofy Movie if you want to. Well up over the assisted homecare living ads. Shit, let that tear fall to your keyboard when you’re listening to the Little Women soundtrack at work and the song Beth dies to (soz for the spoiler, but that movie is about to get it’s second remake so you had more than enough time to watch it. And don’t even get me stated about the book) comes on.

Emotions are powerful. So are you. Don’t hide your tears, embrace them!

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

Obviously. I give the best birthday presents, I called people “nugget” as a term of endearment and I like to make scones. That’s someone another person would love to be friends with. Plus, I put a lot of effort into my Instagram account so it makes it worth being digital friends with me even for distant acquaintance.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Never.

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings. Every time. Back in the day I used to praise movies like Bring It On for not having a corny, predictable ending where our favourite team has a win. Now I yearn for the days of Sister Act II when St. Francis Academy won the choir competition because they were the best, the freshest act and I had emotional ties to them.

I don’t give a shit about realism. That’s why I’m watching a movie in the first place – to escape the suffocating realities of human life. I want to see my heroes get what they deserve so I can pretend that good things to happen to good (or in my case, not totally horrible) people.

Favourite smells? Anything gravy-related. Unfortunately there’s not a scented candle for that… yet.

Do you have any special talents? I can make any situation about me. It’s almost magic. My mum being sick and nearly dying? That gave me a lot of extra work to do around the house. My sister getting married? The zipper of my bridesmaid dress breaks and I have to be sewn in. Mothers’ Day Weekend? I made my parents drive three hours for brunch.

See? It’s not just a talent, it’s a gift.

Do you have any pets? An emotionally distant blue heeler named Lady, because she’s a diva. She’s perfection.

What do you want to be when you grow up? I told my biology teacher my goal was to be a “cynical blogger” when she asked us our career goals in Year 11. Well Carol, I fucking did it.

What would you (or have you) name your children? At this point, I want to have a Dannielle, a Daniel Patrick and a Bruce. This is problematic, however, because I want to have four girls and no boys.

What was your first stuffed animal what was its name? I was given a teddy bear from my grandmother when I was born that is wearing a Santa hat. I was born in early January. It took me years to realise that the hat was actually a Santa hat and not a quaint cap that just happened to be red and that my grandmother had given me a teddy that was clearly discounted clearance Christmas stock. Perhaps I knew all along, considering I never gave the thing a name.

What’s the cool jams? Right now I’m right into Every Time You Cry by Johnny Farnham and the boys from Human Nature. I’ve also been giving Stand By Me and Sunday Morning a few spins lately. That might be because I was quite hungover yesterday and needed some “easy listening” music. It was a big Friday night for me. Someone kept buying tequila shots, and essentially all I ate for dinner was roughly half a lemon (in wedge-from) and three chicken-flavoured chips.