Me: *purchases fancy pants vodka in fancy pants bottle after starting the day off with a margarita. I’m here on official wedding gift business.

Cashier: Do you want a bag for that?

Me: Yes please. Or else I can see myself dropping it. And then there’s not much point to the gift. It wold be like: “here, have this soggy box hat smells like vodka”.

*brief pause

Me: Woa, take that out of context.

*hearty belly laughs all round

Cashier: The worst part is that I was going to say “you could tell them just to lick it up”!

* further heart belly laughter

Me: I have to go, I don’t think I can look at you anymore.

Cashier: That’s $4.10

Me: Can I put that on my card please? I really need to start getting cash out.

Cashier: Don’t worry, I the same thing.

Me *swipes card*

Cashier: Any cash out?

Me: No thanks.

*giggling