Published in On Our Selection News October 24, 2013

Manners are important.

I was at the print shop at uni the other day and had to I ask the lady behind the counter for some print assistance. I didn’t think that I was being overly polite, but the lady commented several times how glad she was that I was using manners.

I felt really sorry for her. At this point in the year, there would be hundreds of exhausted and stressed out students printing out their theses which, according to my pysch friends, can be a harrowing experience (when you’ve worked on a report for a whole year and the printer screws up the margins in a graph, it’s pretty dramatic). Tempers would have been short and manners would have disappeared along with the thesis printer’s standards for hygiene and will to live.

I’ve always been a big advocate for manners to a point where I come off as perhaps a little bit intimidating. I don’t really make it my business to be around small children, but when I do I guarantee you that I will make them say “please” and “thank you” before passing them the treat they asked for. Yes, I use my advantage of height (note: this is the ONLY situation in which I have a height advantage) to force them into politeness.

But it’s not just children. Many moons ago, I was in the magical role of customer service in the fast food industry. As glamorous as it seemed on the outside, you would be surprised to read that it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows (in fact on one of my first late night close shifts, I discovered that one of the impossibly hairy-chested employees preferred to wash up without a shirt, which was rather uncomfortable). I learned that people can be remarkably rude. Thankfully, this didn’t crush my spirits, as eventually my sass and disregard for my job kicked in and I began to realise that as the person who has the food, I had the upper hand – much like the situation with the child at a family party. And while it was perhaps not genuine, the “thanks” I received while maintaining eye contact and sternly saying “you’re welcome” while maintaining a firm grip on manner-less person’s bag of grease was satisfying enough.

I also hate it when I’m with a friend who doesn’t use their manners when talking to someone behind a checkout. I have one friend who is particularly unfriendly to checkout people, and I find it this excruciating. I find myself over compensating for this by being extremely friendly to a point where I come off as plain creepy to the teenage cashier who feels uncomfortable.

I know that “please” and “thank you” are just words, but damn it they are important words. Look at these two phrases: “could you pass the salt!” and “could you please pass me the salt?” The difference is that one is a demand, and the other is request. It’s an acknowledgement that the other person is doing you a favour, even if it is their job. And a “thanks” is just as important. It says “hey, you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment, but I’d really like that salt and I appreciate you giving up your time to ensure my meal is sufficiently seasoned – you’re a kind soul.” Surely that sentence is much more of an effort to say than just a simple “please” and “thank you”.